Oops! I Crapped My Pants!!!

LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! ROFL!!!!!!!! By reading the title, you may have an idea of what I am about to write! If anyone reading this is squeamish in any way, I suggest you stop reading now!!!!! LOLOLOLOL! I must say, tho, that I think I am pretty brave to tell my story! It is awful, but at the same time, one of the funniest things to tell!!!! I laugh everytime I think about it!!!! :) Something this funny just has to be passed on!!!! I hope anyone reading about this finds it more funny instead of gross! Sooooooo, here goes:

Let me first start by asking, have any of you heard that Justin Timberlake song, "What Goes Around Comes Back Around!" Well, if not, you should really look it up online and listen to some of the lyrics, b/c after what happened to me, I keep singing the chorus! :)) It isn't like I didn't already know that, "what goes around comes back around!" Of course, I know that! I try to live by that! Do under others as you would have others do unto you! Right?! I pretty much have tried to live my life in a very caring manner! I pride myself on being caring and nice and kind to others! But..........I certainly have had my share of "laughing" at others expense!!!!! Let's not forget Emjaye's skunk incident! It is a perfect example b/c I always laugh myself sick EVERY time I think of it!!!!!!! :)) Soooooo, back to my story! I don't know if ya'll know this, but I go walking w/my very good friend, Shadia, most every night. We usually don't even go till nine o'clock or later. We get the kids in bed and then off we go! I haven't lost a ton of weight by walking, but I really do feel much better both physically and emotionally! I have gotten a couple compliments that I've lost a "little" bit of weight so it is incentive to keep going! Soooooo, Wednesday night Shadia calls and asks if I am ready to go! We had a late dinner (well, we ate at 7:00) and it was now 9:30, so I was ready to go! We walk anywhere from a mile and a half to two miles, so it can feel pretty far sometimes! Sooooo, we get going and everything is fine. We got at least a mile when, all of a sudden, I get a HORRIBLE stomachache!!!!! You know the kind I'm talking about!!!!! It stopped me in my tracks!!!! I felt like I was gonna have to go (poop, that is) right then and there!!!!! I told Shadia I might not be able to keep going! I might have to turn back! My house was down the street! Would I even make it back home??!! I scanned the homes around me for anyone I might know so I could run to their house if needed! I was NOT to modest at this point in time to care! I needed a toilet and I needed one fast!!!!!!! There wasn't anyone that I knew in this particular section! Awful feeling (physically and emotionally)!!! But.........my stomach made a loud noise and whatever it was seemed to pass! Shadia suggested we just go to the end of the street and turn around and come back since I wasn't feeling well. Sounded like a good plan (tho my stomach felt better, that feeling of "it might come back" was scary)! And............you guessed it, it came back!!!!! We got to the end of the street and turned around to come back. As we are walking back (my house is at the other end, so this is good) my stomachache comes back! Whatever I had WAS NOT WAITING!!!!! I told Shadia I might have to run and leave her behind! She understood! I think that was the worst part! I DID NOT WANT TO CRAP MY PANTS IN FRONT OF SHADIA!!!!! How mortifying would that be??!! Crapping my pants wouldn't be the worst part! The worst part would be - how do I say it gently - oh, well, I'll just say it -------- the smell!!!!! Can you imagine???!!!! I DID NOT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN IN FRONT OF SHADIA!!!! So............I get about four houses from mine and I can't take it anymore! It is coming and I am trying my darndest to hold it in. But, this is not "normal" poop, oh no! We have all been there. When diarrhea wants to come, there is no holding it back!!!! Sooooo, I tell Shadia I gotta run! I take off and make it to my porch! I run up the stairs (there is only two steps) and WHOMP! THERE IT IS!!!!!!! RIGHT IN MY PANTS!!!!!! At this point I have given in! As awful as it is, I can still find a positive! Aren't I special??!! The positive is that it didn't happen in front of Shadia!!!!! I had run off and left her and it was a good thing! As awful as the feeling of "crapping your pants" is - at least I had made it home! I might not have made it to the toilet, but at least, I was home!!!!! Sooooooo, I come inside and the kids are in bed and Mark had gone to bed early, too (he had a headache). I take off my gloves and attempt to take off my coat! More "crap" is on the way! I had only made it thru the first round. There was more to come!!!!! Well, can you believe, my coat zipper got stuck!!!!!!! Oh, yeah, that's right!!!!!! What a perfect time for my zipper to get stuck!!!!! Soooooo, as I am standing there trying to get my coat off, round two happens in my pants AGAIN!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know it is gross, but oh, sooooo funny!!!!! Well, as it turns out, I finally got my zipper undone and get to the toilet!!!! Man, a toilet never looked soooo good!!!!! (Although, there wasn't much I needed the toilet for now, tho). I mean, come on, I had already done my business in my pants! But the toilet did help in the cleanup area! Let's just say, I had to sit in the tub for awhile as well!!!!! And........I threw away the clothes I was wearing, too! I probably could have gotten them clean, but #1 UGH!!!!!!! And #2 I would always know what happened in them! That thought alone was worth throwing them away!!!!!!
Soooooo, what is the moral of this story????!!!! Why am I passing it along????!!!! The moral is: like Justin's song, what goes around DOES come back around!!!! So, be careful, my blogger friends!!!!! And I am passing it along: b/c although "what goes around comes back around" - that is true - but this story IS FUUUUNNNNY!!!!!! You can't help but laugh!!!!! I couldn't NOT TELL!!!!!! Soooo, I apologize if anyone thinks it is NOT funny! Maybe I have a sick sense of humor! But, I can't help it, I think it is funny!!!!!! I have laughed at sooooo many others who this has happened too and now it caught up w/me!!!! Soooo, the Justin Timberlake song now has new meaning to me!!!!! Everytime I hear it, I will think of what happened to me!!!!! LOLOLOL!!!!!! If anything, I hope I brought out a chuckle or made someone smile by telling my story! :) Now, I just have to make sure I don't get stopped by any skunks!!!!!!! :))))